I woke up to a wonderful morning! I was feeling great and even cooked some tasty homemade chicken salad for lunch! I even spent the entire afternoon and evening applying for jobs. Then all of a sudden, I started crying.
You see, I haven't really had an easy life, mostly due to health problems. However, I have dealt with what I was forced to live with. Eventually, my health problems became a part of me.
Despite the tragic lifestyle I dealt with, I never let any of it stop me from experiencing lifes adventures. It took me eight years but I finally recieved a bachelor's degree in Education. Though, at the time, I felt like it was a career for me. Now, I just feel more like a mood killer than an a person who encourages kids. Part of this "feeling" could also be caused by the painful days at school due to the medical problems and not having any endorse from my loved ones.
I have been searching for a full time job and with health insurance for the last four months. I have no money and no insurance. I am being supported by my parents at the age of twenty-seven. I have school loans and hospital bills causing me to be in debt up the sky. I have a few friends but they don't live close to me. I have no love life and that's either due to living in a small town or the guy being an S.O.B. or maybe both!
During the entire four months of applying for jobs, I am constantly told that I am either over qualified or not qualified enough. Well, duh! If I'm over qualified, then shouldn't I be able to do the job perfectly? If I'm not qualified enough, then why don't employers understand that you must take a chance on someone in order for that person to actually get experience!
This is when the depression started to set in. I started crying and couldn't stop. I am now physically, emotionally, and finacially unable to continue on.
2 comments:
You know what I see when I read your post? I see a young lady who has such strong character that she's actively trying find a means to support herself rather than calling it quits.
You could just give up and take advantage of programs available for those with serious health issues, but you don't. That displays more integrity than the vast majority of people are capable of!
I was a department manager for a university for a couple of years, and it was disgusting how many students dropped out for the most trivial reasons. It blows my mind that you stuck with school and received your degree despite all of the obstacles thrown in your path- I wish I could share your story with all of those unmotivated students to inspire them to follow through with their goals. Heck, even as stubborn and passionate as I am, I still haven't completed my degree program!
The depression won't last forever. There's a bumper sticker quote that perfectly captures what you're going through (and helped me when I was in your shoes): 'Due to technical difficulties, the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily shut off'. The nice thing is the use of the word "temporarily", because that means that it WILL be turned on again in the future. :-)
I'll email you later today about my story of being supported by my family in my 20s, dealing with major health problems, with no job, horrible debt, and an SOB boyfriend.
Take care, hon!
I should totally look for that bumper sticker!!!
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