....taking things into my own hands.

You know, when things stop working, doctors try new treatments. But what happens when the new treatments being given to you aren't working either? It seems to me like it's a never ending cycle of pain and destructiveness! It takes a toll on my emotions and body. I have had a few problems lately and my gastroenterologist has yet to call me back with answers; that was two weeks ago. I feel as if my doctor has given up on me. So, I started taking things into my own hands.

It has been two weeks since I taken any of my medications. I still continue to take my iron/B12 pills three times a day; however, I completely stopped taking the steroids, the antibiotic, dietary supplements, and the cholesterol pill that is supposed to absorb extra acid and liquid in my GI track. Of course I will have occasional pains, discomfort, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, which will never go away. That’s just a horrible fact of this execrable disease. Though, since I was diagnosed in February, I haven't felt better!

I know this is a terrible thing to do. I know I nor anyone should ever just stop taking medication without the doctor taking you off of it first; and for the record, I never have. Though, what else could be the reason to why I feel much better? I honestly do think the Humira shots are helping but I am not completely convinced the Humira controls how well I or my body feels every day.

I gave myself another Humira shot this past Sunday. I proceeded to do what my doctor told me, “Take two Benadryl and a Steroid an hour before I give myself the shot”. In the past, each time I gave myself the shot, with or without Benadryl and steroids, I reacted to it and the reaction gradually became worse every time. Nonetheless, I continued to do what I needed to. To my surprise, I didn’t react to the shot as bad as I had in the past. Swelling, bruising, pain, tenderness, and itchiness are all side effects of the shot. Apparently, that’s normal! I do believe I am starting to get use to the Humira shots and I do think I am overall feeling much better because of the Humira.

Even though some things have been getting better, I do think other life problems do take a toll on my body. I have been working in a building with no air conditioner (over two weeks), constantly bending or squatting, sitting or standing too long, waiting to go to the restroom, not always getting a lunch, and the stress some people constantly lay on me. I love my job, I love what I do, I love working, and I have wonderful supervisors who understand, as well as accept, my health problems. But at times, I feel like I can’t finish the day. I am currently working on ways to build up strength on dealing with life’s curveballs; though, it’s not easy. No matter what, I refuse for others to see me down… I always have a smile on my face!