Depression

I wanted to start off by saying sorry I didn't post anything yesterday. I had a horrendous day! Sadly, that day kind of deteriorated into today. You see, I went out with some friends last night just to be ignored and scolded with insults. This is something my group of friends have never done; so, it was a little unusal for me.

I am a strong person, physically and mentally, though not so much emotionally. No matter how old you are, words and actions will cause scars. However, I don't let anyone get to me for long. After being treated like this for a couple of hours, I decided to leave. I made it outside of the club before I started crying. I literally cried for almost an hour in my car before finally leaving the club.

I managed to hold it all together for my long car ride home being upset, hungry, and hurting. Three combinations that aren't good when you have Crohn's Disease. Once I got home, I started crying so bad, I began comfort eating; something I never do. After eating way too much food I didn't need, I let it settle in my stomach by walking around the house for 15 minutes. I then took a pain killer hoping my pain would disappear but sadly, hydrocodone only takes away physical pain... No matter how many you take.

Due to the steroids giving me insomnia, I didn't fall asleep until around 4am. Once I woke up, I stayed in bed the entire day, occationally getting up to walk around or comfort eat, again. I also think all the heavy medication I am taking is starting to make me go into depression; which is a huge side effect. I just hope it doesn't continue, I don't know how much longer I can hang on.

For now, I am going to head to bed and hope I can actually get a good nights sleep without pain. We will see...